Sometimes you need to record the good things before you forget them.
“I don’t like foreign films. Not because they are bollocks, it’s the subtitles. I can’t read and watch the film at the same time.”
And so we introduce you to the wonder that is Jamie and the conversations I have had with him over the past few years. Welcome. Thanks for reading. You have either a bit too much time on your hands or have heard about the literal genius of the ‘Youth’ and have come in for a bit of a poke about.
I reckon it is only fair to set the scene a little bit for you the reader before we get into this good and proper. I am Penny and Jamie (AKA Youth) is my flatmate. Well for the next few weeks that is as he is pulling the rip cord on his fun life and moving in with his girlfriend. We are both simple men blessed with regional accents and a god given skill to take pints.
Youth hails from Bakewell, Derbyshire. The home of the Bakewell Pudding (not a tart!!), the kind of greasy food so bad for you, you would have assumed a Scotsman working in a chipper created it. Bakewell is a small town nestled on the banks of the River Wye. It has a market on a Monday selling important goods/complete tat (your preference reader), old people drinking tea and men and women vomiting wildly in the street on an annual basis to the sound of the locals applauding your efforts wildly. Yes the Bakewell Welly and Wheelbarrow Race around the towns seven pubs draws quite a crowd to watch people in fancy dress run pushing a companion and drinking leftover ales at each pub (never drink the lager – the gas will mean the vomit arrives much sooner, louder and more violently) before jumping in the river. This is not a place where you should try and be polite as I was informed at pub number 6 “look son, just get it down you pronto, throw it back up and move on to the next pub”. I duly obliged and after creating my pavement pizza took a bow to the several hundred onlookers applauding my efforts.
Only in a place like this could create a man like Youth. A man who loves exercise (rugby and cycling), romantic comedy movies, the colour blue, orchids, pints and a generally brilliantly simple approach to dealing with the problems of our world.
So sit back, relax, vomit if you want to and enjoy as Youth puts your world into a beautifully simple perspective.